Pointing out someone’s flaws so I can feel better about my own? Who me?

It’s hard to admit, but I spent many of my early years watching other girls and measuring myself against what I thought I saw.

Instead of celebrating and lifting up my fellow sisters, I would put them down, talk behind their backs a lot of the time, and to their faces the rest of the time.

I’m not proud of it: the cutting remarks and glares I gave girls who were no doubt feeling just the same as I was: insecure about their bodies, confused about their feelings, and mistaken about their value.

The truth is our flaws make us who we are, only they aren’t flaws. What we see as ugly and weird our Father sees as exactly what he wanted us to be.

Challenge: Encourage your daughter to choose joy instead of judgment when it comes to her (and others’) flaws. 

Action Step: Spend some time connecting with her this week. Talk about this insecurity trap and how to steer clear of it. 

Tell her about you when you were younger. Use the questions below to guide the conversation: 

When you were her age, what was your point of view concerning your features and flaws?

Most days, how did you feel about yourself? 

What factors contributed to you feeling the way you did? 

As you've grown and matured, what have you come to realize about flaws (both yours and the ones you recognize in others)? 

This is a good practice in modeling vulnerability, so be open and honest with her. 

I would love to know how these conversations go and what kinds of discussions you have with your girls. Be sure to let me know in the comments below. 

Have an awesome day!

If this post struck a chord with you, I want you to know I have a solution to help you grow deeper in your relationship with your daughter and increase her confidence. If you're looking for practical tools and strategies to support her, be sure to check out my free video series, 3 Keys To Unlocking Her True Potential. Click here to watch. These topics changed my approach to motherhood, marriage, business, and life forever...